I write blog posts for my job. Sometimes I write one’s that I really want to post on my personal blog. Today I wrote one on mindfulness, and it really hit home with me. More than I thought it would.
Usually in the afternoon, after work, I feed my little one, try to get him to take a nap (which is harder than you’d think) and then either finish up some chores or collapse on the couch and watch a little TV. Today it was relatively easy to get him down for his nap – yay – and after I finished a couple of chores, I collapsed on the couch to watch some TV. Fifteen minutes later, 35 minutes into his nap, the cries came. And it’s never a good thing when your little one wakes up crying!
Usually when the little one wakes up crying from a nap, dread hits me as I picture the rest of the day filled with overtired crankiness. But today, I took a deep breath, went in his room, picked him up and held him in my arms on the rocker, as I normally do to calm him down. He immediately fell asleep. And usually I put him down in the crib pretty quickly after he falls asleep. 9 times out of 10 the second “put down” doesn’t work and he immediately wakes up. So I decided to just hold him and let him sleep in my arms.
I held him and let him sleep in my arms. I wasn’t thinking about all the things I could be doing. I wasn’t thinking about anything but holding my baby. I looked at his sweet little face as he slept, and felt so blessed to have him. It was such a special moment. He’s weeks away from turning 1 – and the time has passed by so fast. I feel like soon he’ll be a teenager and I’ll long for these moments. I need to treasure them now, even though at times I don’t.
But today I did. I held him.