Don’t fight that feeling

Ugh.  Ugh is all I can say to describe the past few weeks.

Pregnancy symptoms aren’t fun.  And I was having some very un-fun ones these past 10 days.  And the thing with pregnancy symptoms are they are just plain confusing.  One symptom can be completely normal in some women and a bad sign in another.  So there was a lot of confusion on my part.

I hate to be one of those pregnant ladies who calls her doctor every time something different pops up and I tried not to be.  But it took me 3 calls and 8 days to finally get an appointment with the OB on call.  And it wasn’t anything horrible – but it was something that needed attention and treatment.  (I’m sparing you the details because pregnancy details are just TMI.)  So now I’m in the treatment phase and hoping all turns out well.  Whenever you take any medication when pregnant, it’s a little nerve-racking.  But I just have to trust and have faith.

During this time I really did nothing.  I tried to rest as much as possible.  And it was horrible.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my couch time now.  The third trimester is pretty exhausting.  But there was a span of 5 days where I spent 99% of my time lying around our house.  I can’t lie, it made me a little irritable and depressed.  I got over it – I just had to let myself feel my feelings and then they passed.  But man, that was a bad 5 days.

tumblr_nm1drsp8DF1qiuk4go1_500

So now I’m working more, doing a little bit more (though I’m not exercising until I know I’m all better) and feeling generally better about life.

That’s the thing: sometimes your circumstances can dictate your feelings.  Even though everyone says it’s your attitude that makes a situation good or bad, that’s not always the case.  Sometimes you can’t do anything you want, and it bums you out.  It’s hard to look on the Brightside when you are fighting possible illness, bored out of your mind, worried about your health (and your babies help) and frustrated that you can’t do anything.  And it’s ok to be sad.  It’s ok to be frustrated.  It’s ok to feel exactly what you feel.  I’ve had to learn that the hard way.  Fighting sadness, frustrating, depression, etc. will not make things better.  You just have to live in the moment – allow yourself to be in the mood you are in – and once you have felt all the emotions you need to feel, you can move on.

0514354a6811b77097515a417b208a87ad0754

So hopefully, I am moving on.  Fingers crossed this medication works and little baby and I will be fine by the weekend!

moving-on-quotes-and-sayings-for-girls-2

Good intentions

Full of good intentions.  I feel like I’m always full of good intentions, but the majority of the time they stay intentions – not realities.

My prenatal yoga classes were cancelled for this week.  I’m not sure why, but it was a bit of a bummer.  I have a busy week and it would have been nice to have some relaxation time on the schedule.  But to be 110% honest, I wasn’t quite feeling it Tuesday morning anyways.  I wish they had them later in the day, but they don’t.

Monday was my pregnancy glucose screening.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with this test, you drink a big glass of nasty tasting glucose water, wait an hour, then get your blood drawn to check your blood sugar levels.  It’s not the most fun experience in the world.  I gagged a few times while drinking the solution (you have to drink it within 5 minutes), but after I got it down I felt ok.  I wish I could have had some plain water to get the taste out of my mouth, but no food or liquid is allowed during the hour wait time.  Luckily my doctor was running late (who ever says that?) so the hour wait time didn’t seem as long.  But all in all I was at the office for around 2 hours.  That was bleck.  And since the first thing I put in my body in over 14 hours was basically sugar water, my blood sugar was out of whack all day long.

Tuesday was a fun filled day of errands and cleaning the house.  I did get some time to read and I’ll write about the books I read later on.

Today is a busy work day, which is thankfully over until tomorrow.

But I went ahead and signed up for the prenatal yoga class next Tuesday.  I’m trying to turn my good intentions into realities!

 

New Years Annoyance

The New Years fitness craze is, well, crazy!  I’m all for fitness.  I love exercise, trying healthy recipes, and so forth.  I’ve been working out since I was around 15 and have been going strong ever since.

But come January, fitness starts to get on my nerves.  Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that people are trying to do good things for their bodies.  We all should be striving for good health.  But when my gym gets overly crowded, or as I found out this week, all workout clothes are gone from stores, then I get annoyed.  I just want to do my normal routine, and I can’t in January.  As a fitness-addict, this is really a struggle.

So I tried to find maternity workout clothes – and there’s nothing.  All is gone.  So I have not tried my prenatal yoga class this week.  But I’ve decided workout clothes be darned – I’m going to class next week.  I have a pair of sweatpants that fit, and I have a yoga top and sports bra that are a bit snug, but will work.  I can’t let the New Year’s resolution crowd cramp my style (though I will definitely not be stylin’ in class!).  And really, if people judge me because I’m not wearing nice yoga clothes at 7 months pregnant – then it’s not the studio for me!

Other than that unfortunately this week has been fairly routine.  Doctors appointments, running errands, work, moderate exercise, reading and resting.  It went from 70 degrees last week to 36 degrees this week in Charlotte – so I’m ok with this.  I’m not exactly stocked up on winter maternity clothes either.  But I am itching to do more, try more, go more.  So it’s good that the itch is still there.  Next week will be the week my itch starts to be relieved!

New Year, New Me?

I usually thrive in January.  Goal setting, resolutions, making plans — it’s kind of my thing.  I love it and a lot of times I actually live for it.  Setting goals and trying to accomplish them – it’s a way of life for me.

This January feels very different though.  I haven’t set any goals or resolutions.  I can’t even wrap my mind around making goals or resolutions.

The reason: I am (happily) 6 months pregnant – just a little over a week away from being 7 months pregnant.

So goals have taken on a new meaning for me.  My goal is to make it through the day without being emotionally, mentally or physically overwhelmed.  And that’s really all I can focus on these days.

I am not one of those women who feels great while pregnant.  Since pretty much week 6, I’ve felt crappy the majority of the time.  And while symptoms have lessoned as I get closer to the 3rd trimester, I still fight to get through the day in one piece.  I can’t say I’m surprised.  My body doesn’t handle change very well.  So of course this huge change in my body is creating a bit of havoc.  But it’s worth it.  And really, I am happy to be creating this beautiful life inside me.

But I also feel a little lost at times.  My life has turned into work and trying to survive pregnancy.  I don’t feel like I’ve had a lot of time to really be me.  I do try to exercise 3-4 times a week (depending on how I’m feeling), but it’s been mainly to maintain health, not to challenge myself or grow in strength or endurance.  I don’t cook anymore other than making a less than 10 minute dish because being on my feet wears me  out.  I haven’t written in ages because I feel like all that will come out is complaints about pregnancy.  So a big part of me I feel is gone, which scares me because I know even more of me can and may disappear once this little baby makes an appearance.

So how do you find you in pregnancy?  After almost 7 months, I’m still having trouble figuring that out.  But since it’s January, I have a little more motivation to set out on how to do that.  My life doesn’t have to be going to work, coming home to rest and feel icky, and planning a nursery.  It can have time for me in it before and after baby comes.  I logically know this.  But when you feel blah, it’s hard to get yourself motivated to make the change.  Especially when you have an awesome and loving family who tries to do everything for you because they know you feel yucky.  But it’s time to kick my butt into gear.  Step 1: get off the couch more.  Step 2: get out of the house more.  I have plans to attend a prenatal yoga class.  I love yoga but have not taken a class since I become pregnant due to many reasons.  But I think going to a class filled with other women who are pregnant as well will help me feel better, feel motivated, and get my butt into gear.  So step 3, go out and find some yoga pants that fit me right now 🙂  And then step 4, attend class.  So tomorrow, Maternity store – here I come!

Isn’t it funny how goals and resolutions can change over time?  This time last year I was thinking of running half marathons, doing handstands and pull-ups, and this year it’s finding yoga pants and just going to a class.  But I’m not going to compare these goals.  Both are great, admirable and needed goals for me during the specific time in my life.  I need to embrace my body, embrace my feelings, and live my life.  Because that’s step number 1 to being a healthy, happy me!