I’ve always felt I was a little bit different from most people. This may be nonsense. I may be exactly like everyone else and I just don’t realize it.
But I do know that odd things tend to happen to me more than other people. That I have proof of from comparing my adventures to those around me. Granted, my sample size is limited, but in my limited circle I’m considered the “crazy-magnet”.
For instance, every apartment I’ve ever lived in was flanked by a unique individual. From a man who did wood-working, complete with an electric saw, in his apartment to a woman who had psychological issues having a breakdown and throwing all of her belongings out her window in the middle of the night.
That’s where the title The Cold Penguin comes from. On a trip to the Atlanta Zoo my husband and I were discussing our favorite animal exhibits. We both really enjoyed the penguins. Then we somehow got on the topic of what animal we would like to be. Seal, otter, penguins. And for some reason we both agreed that even though these animals are built to withstand cold climates, if I was a penguin, I’d be the cold one. We had a good laugh, but it symbolizes my slight difference between myself and other people.
Lately, I’ve been feeling this cold penguin-ness a lot. For the past month, my mojo has been off. I’ve felt exhausted, frustrated, unhappy and unmotivated.
Part of this is my health. I have P.O.T.S. I’m lucky in that I’m a healthy Potsie. There are some people who are not able to hold a job and are in and out of the hospital constantly. Myself, I have a few doctor visits a year, regular blood draws, and daily medications, but other than that live a fairly normal life. Though I do have daily symptoms, I realize how lucky I am.
(To read more about P.O.T.S. visit this link – http://www.dinet.org/index.php/information-resources/pots-place/pots-symptoms)
The other part I’m not really sure what is causing it. I feel like something is missing, so there must be something that I want that I’m not putting my finger on.
I have a great job that I love. I have a loving husband and a sweet puppy. I live a comfortable lifestyle and have some fun adventures coming up. But for some reason things are just off.
I’m starting to feel better though. Though my mojo is still out of whack, I’m finding that my desire to get it back is coming around.
I decided writing is probably my best outlet. I’m not the best at keeping up a blog, as you can see by my whole 3 posts in April. But I think this will help so I’m making a promise to myself to write at least 3 times a week. Maybe this will help me find whatever it is I’m looking for a little bit quicker than just powering through my days.